White Sapphire

crystals of white sapphire
hide in the snow
glittering in the chilling moonlight

where do the gems disappear?
why are they invisible
until the moonlight
makes them gleam in the dark?

sharp pieces of ice
cut into my subconscious
(sinking down when they melt)
eternally sharp
cause neverending
internal bleeding

I bleed to death
from the inside
not a single drop of blood is shed outwards
all is drained away
invisibly

sharp are the pieces
that made me numb
unable to move

now I make the moves
so that the mercilessly
beautiful crystals
might do what they have to
they are nicer, stronger, so worthy
they might dissect me from the inside

I bleed to death
and no-one would see
that I hide crystals
murderously beautiful crystals
inside

Dark gateway

The door is soon to be closed behind me.
I could turn back...
but the door is swinging dangerously -
it would crush me on my way back...

Looking back I see
everything I left behind
the light I once lived in
everything is so remote
yet every silhouette is so sharp
from the dark gateway

dark is the gateway
I don't know where it leads
I do know that by stepping into it
I crossed the point of no return

though the darkness has not swallowed me yet
now I am in the shadows' field
looking at the fragile reality
from the gloom of the
dark gateway

Your Faces

(you have so many faces
so beaming are they
I don't have any)

broken glass reflects
unclear pieces of one image
I tried to complete them
my hands got bloody
but the sharp mirror pieces
never gave a whole image

I have no reflection in the mirror

I need no wings
need no halo
need no face

the face of my dreams
is the deadly white moon
hiding in the dark clouds'
shelter

Corridor of the Dead

they said: here could I find the way out
through the mouldy tunnel underground
black-robed people are hanging
dead and numb
on the walls of the corridor in the depth
their faces pruned to black
empty eye orbits stare at me rigidly
dried lips are pulled backover from yellow teeth
the dead are grinning at me infernally

the corridor goes downward
arriving at the dead-end tunnel
finally I understand:
the way out - is the rope
waiting for me at the end of the corridor
I can be free
if I place my head in the knot
my body will hang
at the very end of the corridor
pruned and dried

my empty eye orbits will warn others
without words
that there is
no way out from here

(at least this will not be in vain
at least I will not be hanging there
in vain
for eternity)

Waiting

I am waiting.
Hard to be patient
until you arrive -
arrive without invitation...

Come and take the
interim suffering and
all the meaningless filth;

Come and make me
become just like you

Come, let me hide
under your warm cloak
I am numb and cold
among the living

Let me be bloodless
Let me be lifeless
Let me be timeless like you -
sweet, sweet Death

The Well Of Memories

cary and deadly are the depths...
Glance into the well of memories
And face the narrowing depth of the past
- can you see the lively water
glittering at the very bottom?

If you dare throw yourself into the deadly depths,
Seeking for lost treasures hidden below,
could you reach the silvery shine of water
or would you drown into the well
to become nothing but one of the memories?

(...where could I find a rope
to descend on, a rope that would not be torn
bearing my heavy mind?)

Merciless Moon

your rigid light beams
coldly; white as bone
without life, without soul
as you shine on
horrific creatures
of sleepless nights

meaningless and senseless is
the growth
that your sick fertility brings
everything that you nurture
eats up all life

your beams give no warmth
your shine gives no light
no life is bred from your wet coldness
roaming dead water is your only creature

Grey Hands

Fading grey hands reach after me
as I am about to disappear in nothingness
the mist and the gloom get thicker
the hands, the hands that reach after me
become invisible in this obscurity
but I can never be sure:
are the hands, the hands gone
forever into obscurity?
Or are they still here,
grabbing me - invisibly?